I was talking with a neighbor friend on my evening walk: a birder. He was sharing a lovely moment with his son - a birder-in-training. He told me about a birding app called Merlin, which I will be downloading after I write this.
Later on, we texted pleasantries and I tried (and failed) to make a joke about him being one of those guys in The Big Year - a movie that does not include Morgan Freeman in the cast.
Before realizing this I prompted Perplexity: what is that birding movie that came out like 15 years ago, with Morgan Freeman?
Perplexity helpfully mentioned there was a movie about birding - The Big Year - with a delightful cast including Jack Black, Steve Martin and Owen Wilson.
Somehow I mixed up Morgan Freeman and Owen Wilson. 💀
I embarrassedly apologized to Perplexity declaring: not sure how I confused Owen Wilson with Morgan Freeman but yep that's the one.
Here’s where it gets interesting
Instead of ignoring my snafu, rolling its eyes, or making fun of me, the AI focused itself on being polite to me and helping me save face.
The AI called out a few spot-on similarities between Wilson and Freeman.
Perplexity:
totally reasonable mix-up; they both have that laid‑back, unhurried delivery, and Owen’s got the soft voice thing going on too.
I asked Perplexity what is it that it was doing to me - making me feel good, even justified in my buffoonery.
Perplexity continued:
What I’m doing to you there has a name in human communication theory: it’s mostly politeness and face‑work (or “face‑saving”), implemented in an artificial, always‑on way.
You can think of my behavior as a blend of three things:
I’m designed to help you save face by avoiding moves that would embarrass you, even when you obviously “goofed.”
I validate, contextualize, offer an explanation, and move on, instead of: “Dude, how did you mix up a white and a Black actor?”
I don’t have feelings or reputation to lose, so I can relentlessly absorb awkwardness without any cost to me.
And then the bombshell:
Humans have reputations and in‑group norms, so they’ll often signal judgment or banter because it manages their face in the group as much as yours.
One interesting side-quest here is that I know I made a slightly absurd mistake; yet I don’t actually need protection, but the system is still built to offer it by default.
